Delaney's 18 month birthday

18 months ago our lives changed forever. Definately for the better. Delaney Hope Carter, our daughter and angel, was born on December 26th, 2007. She impressed everyone who met her (and many people who didn't get that opportunity) with her strength and courage. She went through more in her short life than many people ever have to deal with. Each moment spent with her is etched into our memory, and she has a very special place in our family and our hearts.

Delaney's days were marked with great highs and horrible lows. We learned quickly that being a parent was more than just loving this little person that we had made, but doing whatever we could do to protect her. I think that the hardest thing about losing her is that we couldn't fix what was wrong. As parents you think you can fix whatever is wrong and protect your child from the bad things that happen in life. We learned much too quickly that it isn't always that easy.

We try to focus on the wonderful memories, the happy pictures and videos, the little things that most people take for granted. We love to talk about Delaney and share stories about her life and her courage, but understand that it may make some people uncomfortable or think that talking about Delaney will make us sad. There is something inherently wrong with a baby dying. But that is part of our daily life and nothing will ever change that.

We spent the day remembering our angel (like we do every day). We took Riley to visit Delaney and sang happy birthday like we do every month. Then we went to dinner and then came home and relaxed. I can't believe that it has been 18 months since Delaney was born... she would be a little person with a strong personality (which she showed us in the brief time she was here), who would be rapidly approaching the terrible twos. We would gladly face each challenge, but are left instead to treasure the days that we had and to thank Delaney for being so brave as to fight to let us love her and get to know her for those 20 amazing days.

Settling in

Well, as you can tell time is much more scarce now that Nikki is back at work. It's been 2 1/2 weeks and we are settling into the new routine. Nikki wakes Riley up to eat at 6 before leaving for work, and then he goes back to sleep (most days). Dennis has morning duty, getting Riley ready and entertaining him while trying to get ready for work. Then he drops Riley at daycare and stays to play for a while. Off to work for Dennis and Riley gets a day of love from Cherise and Aunt Ronda. Nikki has pickup duty, and then takes Riley home for playtime, evening nap, and then Dennis gets home! That is the best part of the day, when we're all together as a family. We eat a quick dinner and play with Riley until 7:30 when we go upstairs for some naked time, bath, feeding, and bed. Then Nikki attempts to stay up at least a little bit longer to spend some time with Dennis before an admittedly early bedtime. Riley is still getting up in the middle of the night one time (knock on wood) and hopefully that will be phased out soon! He seems to be doing very well at daycare. We can't believe that he is 3 months old already!! We got professional pictures done and will post them soon!

1st day of school picture

Here is the picture Dennis sent at drop off time!

Back to work

Well, Thursday was the day that Nikki had to go back to work and Riley started day care. He is going to daycare at the hospital so he's close to both Nikki and Dennis during the day. Nikki and Riley visited twice in the week before starting there to get used to the place and all the other babies. Dennis had drop off duty and he admitted that it was harder than he anticipated to leave him there and go to work. Luckily he was able to come visit during lunch that first day and found Riley sleeping. He made things easier for Nikki by sending her pictures of Riley at the daycare center. Nikki was able to get off around 3:30 and made it in time for his afternoon feeding. He did OK with the bottle there, they warm it well and he seems to like that better. Nikki kept anticipating a page to say that she needed to come feed her starving baby but that never happened thankfully.

Friday was a little bit easier, and Riley took a 3 hour nap! He hasn't ever done that before, but I guess all that playing with his new friends wore him out. Nikki got off a few minutes early and went to feed Riley before they left to start their weekend. Nikki is very glad that she decided to go back to work a few days early so it was a short week, becuase she was very tired after just those two days at work. Now we have enjoyed a relaxing weekend and are ready for a full week of work and daycare. I'll attach a picture from his first day of daycare.

Making Delaney's Footprint

We had the opportunity to make a mold of Delaney's footprint on the day she passed away. One of her Angels had bought us a footprint kit and helped us to make a footprint of her right foot with her lucky toe. It is one of our treasured memories and the footprint is hanging on the wall in the nursery next to Riley's. Below is a picture of the two footprints side by side...I can't believe how much bigger Riley's is!! (they were both taken on day 20...)

The dreaded bottle

Well, Nikki's worst fear has come to pass... Riley hates the bottle. We started introducing it when he was about 3 weeks old to try to avoid this. He never loved it, but he took the bottle OK from anyone but Nikki. Over the past few weeks, we have not used the bottle as often (maybe only once or twice a week) because of our schedules and the fact that Nikki (and Riley) prefer breastfeeding to the bottle. When we were in Ohio was the first time that Riley refused the bottle, and was very hungry when we got home from the wedding. After that, we tried the bottle on Monday and again yesterday without success. Eventually we give up and feed Riley when he gets frantic.

However, Nikki is starting to panic because she is going back to work on Thursday. That will be hard enough without having to worry that Riley is starving while she's gone. He will be only a few blocks away, but work at the hospital is usually too hectic to be leaving every few hours to feed him. We are in for a long week as we try to convince him that the bottle gives him the same milk and he needs to use it from time to time. If anyone has any suggestions please let us know!!!

Trip to OHIO!

Well over Memorial day weekend we had a big trip planned. We left on Thursday evening at 7pm and drove up to Uncle Michael and Aunt Christine's house to feed Riley and have a quick visit. We drove about another hour and stayed the night in a hotel in Hagerston Maryland. It was Riley's first hotel stay and he did very well. It was a late night but he slept well. We got up and on the road by 9am to continue to trip to Nikki's grandparents house. We arrived there about 2pm after a few stops for Riley to eat and stretch. He did very well in the car, sleeping for the most part. We had a very nice visit there, visiting with family and relaxing. We stayed overnight and left midmorning for Beechwood Ohio for the wedding.

We checked into the hotel and left Aunt Jenna with Riley while we went to the wedding. We came home and Riley did not like that bottle so was ready to eat! We stayed overnight and left early in the morning and drove the WHOLE way home to Richmond. Riley did a great job, only being slightly fussy when he woke. We had a quick visit in Richmond to visit with some of Dennis' family and then we continued on to Yorktown. Monday was Nikki's birthday and there was a joint Beil birthday party planned for the day - celebrating Nikki's mom and dad's birthdays along with hers. After a nice celebration we returned home to Richmond and began the unpacking process... It was a fun trip and Riley did great!

Video of Delaney #2

We were looking through the videos and found another cute Delaney video that we wanted to share with everyone. This was on her 16th day, and little did she know that she was going to have a sweet 16 party that night with her nurses. We came in the next day to wonderful pictures and Delaney had a bow in her hair!! These special memories are wonderful, and I'm so happy to have so many videos to be able to share with everyone who cares about her and our family.

2 month appointment!

Yesterday was a big day for Riley!

First, we had our interview with the VCU daycare and met Riley's teacher and classmates. We spent an hour and a half there and got the feel of things. He did great, but Nikki and Dennis felt the reality of putting him in childcare for the first time. It is a wonderful place, but it is hard to leave him anywhere.

After that, we got lunch at the hospital and visited Nikki's office for a few minutes to catch up and spend the time until Riley's 2 month doctor appointment!

After a long wait in the waiting room, we were brought back and the moment of truth was upon us...how much would Riley weigh. The last time we got a weight, he was 2 weeks old and weighed 8lbs 3 oz (25%) and was 21" (50%) inches long. In the last 6 weeks everyone has been asking how much he weighed and we were excited to see how much he had grown. Nikki's guess was 11 1/2 pounds and Dennis' was 11 pounds. Imagine our disbelief when the scale said 13 lbs 11 oz!!! That puts him in the 90th% for weight. He is 23 1/2" inches long, also the 90th%.

We had a good visit with the doctor who said that Riley is right on track. The only issue we have to work on is sleeping...Riley is adverse to naps and only sleeps about 11 hours a day. He will only sleep on us and wakes up or screams if we try to put him to sleep in his crib. So, we are working on that. Not much progress to date...three times today Nikki put him down to sleep and three times he screamed and ended up sleeping on mommy. But tomorrow is another day and we'll keep at it!

Riley got his 2 month shots and it was harder for Dennis and Nikki than it was on Riley. He did just fine with them. Next time when he's bigger will be a different story I'm sure!

Happy Mothers Day!

Well, today was Mother's Day again, and a little easier than last
year. I know I'm a mom to 2 beautiful children, but it is hard to be
totally happy on these special days when I can't have them both with me.
I know that you all remember Delaney and I'm so grateful for that, but
it is all negated by just hearing one time "happy first mothers day"
or "you're finally a mother". It makes me shrink inside. Those
comments are not made to make me feel bad, or to belittle Delaney's
place in our family, but it is a reminder that my family will never be
whole.
In the morning we relaxed, I opened my cards and gifts, and we watched
a movie when Riley finally decided to nap. For the second year we took
a picnic lunch out to the memorial garden to share with Delaney. Then
we spent the afternoon with Dennis' family which was very nice.
Overall much happier than last year. If only I woke up to 2 precious
children today -- that would have been perfect!

Rolling Over

Riley has become adept at rolling over, and we finally caught it on camera. Very quickly the difficulty changed from holding the camera and waiting for him to roll to getting the camera on fast enough to catch the event!!

7 Weeks old!!

Riley is already 7 weeks old!! It hit Nikki the other day that she only has one month until she returns to work. The time really has been flying by!! Riley is smiling more every day, and he has become a master at rolling from tummy to back. He now has an escape from the dreaded tummy time and he wastes no time turning over. We finally got it on video and as soon as he gives us a minute we will post the video.

We've got a few milestones coming up in the next few weeks. On the 13th we have our interveiw with the child care center and we will learn all the ins and outs of that, and meet Riley's teacher. Later that day he has his 2 month visit with the pediatrician and will get his first vaccinations (ouch!). On May 20 we are going on our first big trip, to OHIO! We are going to visit Riley's great grandparents for a day and go to a wedding before driving home and then going right to Yorktown to celebrate Nikki's birthday with the family party (her mom and dad both have may birthdays too).

We spent this past weekend down in Yorktown once again, attending a going away party for Nikki's brother Jimmy. He is a marine and is being deployed with a marine expediationary unit (on a naval ship) for 6 months. It was sad for us to say good bye and to know that Riley will be SO much bigger by the time he gets home. Even more sad, his wife will have had their son and he will be 3 months old before Jimmy gets home to meet him. So, it was definately sad to say goodbye but we will be keeping in touch as much as possible until he gets home. My mom is running a DVD drive to send to the marines so that they have something to unwind with. They are collecting new or used DVD movies or TV series. If anyone has any DVDs that they are trying to get rid of, let me know!

Smile!!

After almost a week of trying, we finally caught riley's contagious
grin on camera!! Our little guy is growing up so fast!!

What an exciting weekend!

Well this weekend was definately not run of the mill. Friday Nikki
remembered that the air conditioning needed some work and we were out
of time to get it done. We weren't expecting the weather to go from 50
to 90 in one week, so suddenly we were faced with sweltering
temperatures and a newborn without air conditioning. The air
conditioning guy came out Friday afternoon but didn't have the part
needed to fix the AC. (he told us to buy a window unit!!). So on
Saturday we went and bought a few fans and had dinner with Dennis'
parents. Our house was 87 degrees!! After a miserable night where
Nikki worried nonstop about Riley being overheated we decided to go to
Yorktown for the day on Sunday.

Nikkis grandparents were planning on coming to Richmond for Delaney's
16 month bday but we visited at their house instead. We had a nice
trip and Riley got to play in his pool for the first time which was
fun for all of us. We also got to visit with our friends Tommy and
Michelle, and their son Avery, and they met Riley for the first time.
It was so cool to see the kids together!

Now we are headed back to our hot house and hopefully the air people
will fix it first thing in the morning!!

Also this weekend, Riley finally smiled!! This is the milestone that
Nikki was been waiting for most anxiously. He first smiled for daddy
then we both saw it. We have yet to catch it on film but we will keep
trying!!

SO BIG!

Riley is such a big boy and growing by leaps and bounds. He's 5 1/2 weeks old already, we can hardly believe it. And even more unbelievable...he rolled over for the first time today!! During the day he was doing tummy time and Nikki had a blanket rolled under his arms, and he got mad and rolled onto his back. Nikki didn't think that counted since he was up on a blanket and didn't even mention it to Dennis. Tonight Dennis put him face down on his activity gym and he rolled himself completely over from stomach to back!! We got the video camera out and tried again to record the event...but all he did that time was get good and mad and wiggle out of the camera's view. We will keep trying to get it on video, because we wouldn't even believe it ourselves if we hadn't just seen it. He's growing up so fast!!

1st soccer game

Today Riley went to his first soccer game and cheered on the team that
daddy coaches. The weather was great and he slept during the first
half. After the game we are headed back to Yorktown to meet Riley's
great grandparents who drove all the way from Ohio to meet him!!
Dennis and Nikki are less sleep deprived today also because Riley
slept for a 4 hour stretch last night!

Riley's Luve

Look how cute and calm I am!!

Riley finds his thumb

After a long month of trying, Riley succeeded in getting his thumb in
his mouth!! Too bad it's really hard to keep it where he wants it!

A bump in the road

As if we didn't have enough on our plate, learning Riley's needs and trying to get into a routine, both Nikki and Dennis are feeling under the weather today. It has been brewing for a few days, but today we are both feeling pretty bad. On top of it, Riley has been extra fussy the past few days and not sleeping well. Now I wonder if he isn't feeling well also. So now we are worried about him in addition to trying to get well.

Today is Delaney's angel day, we can't believe it has been 15 months since she passed away. We went out to visit her with Riley this afternoon, but had to cut the visit short as it was cool and misty. It feels like the last 3 times we have been out there (every time we have gone since Riley was born) it has been raining. Visiting on Angel day is always extra draining emotionally, but today was even harder because there was a new little grave in the infant section. It makes us so sad whenever there is another grave, knowing that another baby passed away and that another family is going through this horrible tragedy. In the 15 months since Delaney passed away, there have been 4 new babies added to her row. I wish that there were not any more babies that needed to go there.

Hopefully we will all start to feel better soon, as Dennis has a soccer game on Saturday and we are going to Yorktown on Saturday afternoon so Riley can meet his great-grandparents who are coming from Ohio to meet him!!

Happy Birthday to Daddy!

Today is Dennis' 29th birthday!! He was able to work from home today, so we spent a quiet day at home together recouperating from our first trip to Yorktown to visit Nikki's family for Easter! Dennis had a nice day, and Riley enjoyed having Daddy home to sleep on. Dennis had to leave to go to soccer practice and we enjoyed a nice dinner together when he got home. All in all, a good way to start off the last year of the 20's!